Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
