win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he fucked my hip out of place.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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