im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
