I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
