he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
