i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize