Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
