my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
