We're facebook friends in real life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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