i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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