i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
