He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
