new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
