Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
