Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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