whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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