He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
