Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
