JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
