Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
