hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
try to milk me bitch
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