I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
