ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
