# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
