hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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