since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
