i may or may not be watching the land before time
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
