i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
