i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
