Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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