How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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