I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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