Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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