I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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