Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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