five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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