It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
