he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I love you.
Bad choice
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
