So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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