no, he came in my armpit
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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