she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
