I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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