Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need to align my fucking chakras
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize