you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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