I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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