Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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