my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
