Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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