Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
That reminds me...we need to get swords
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
