Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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