My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
