Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
