she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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