i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
