If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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