then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
