he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
