They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Panties = found
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
