I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
