I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
