If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
