THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
