ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
