Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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