I want to stick my p in your. b.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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