he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
